Reflective Writing Task

I felt that I wanted to share my experience of doing task 2.b with you all. It has shown me a lot about the way I think reflectively.


Below I have typed up the reflective writing exercise (section 2b) making minimal alterations to the original. In many of the sections I felt that my freedom of thought was very constrained and was not free-flowing. The section that I feel was most productive and successful at getting down all my ideas was the List section. By making bullet points of the ideas that came to mind when thinking about the day and without having to expand the ideas meant that I was able to freely let my mind flow and write down everything. Not all the ideas will be of importance but that is not always easy to know until you look back over it at a later point.
When journal writing in the future I plan to mostly adopt the list writing strategy but do so with a particular event or theme in mind. Even if half of what is written is irrelevant, at least the half that is will be truly open thoughts and ideas. I from my lists and bullet points I can the 'meta-view' (Moon, 2006) the journal entry and expand on the ideas that are more relevant.

Description: Audition for Twelfth Night. A group of us sitting in a semi-circle reading sections of the script as different characters. It was in the evening at the theatre. I had to read various sections of the script at sight as both Viola and Olivier.

Initial Reflection: I felt nervous as it has been a long time since I have performed or had lessons in acting. I was very much thinking about how I was speaking the words – the rhythm, pace, range. I feel perhaps I should’ve trusted my training a bit more and just gone with the flow and enjoyed it. In auditions I find it hard to relax and I over think everything. But how can I practice auditions? I can practice technique but not being the in the moment. I can’t, I just have to get out and do!! An unexpected event: because of my height and features I never thought I’d even be considered for Viola (who is meant to be mistaken for her twin brother) so I had focused my practice on Olivier. Surprise à a guy there who looked just like me. Threw me off guard. My mood was to try and come across as personable and relaxed but the fact I was thinking that means I was not!

List:

·         Fear

·         Rusty

·         aware of every tiny reaction from others

·         no glasses

·         corrected on Ho!

·         drinks after good to talk to rest of group

·         other auditionees done plays there before (as newbie I am hindered)

·         Me babbling and speaking before I think

·         Hole in tights

·         cold

·         How I look before comfort

·         I am anal=how I look must be just right for me to relax

·         director had a fierce face

·         enjoyed speaking the lines

·         love Shakespeare

·         I look really young – I hope they don’t think I’m young and don’t cast me for it

·         Relax

·         I’ll be fine on stage IF I get the part.

Evaluation: Overall I was fairly happy with how I did. I thought my colouring of the words was pretty good for a read through only a couple of minor slip-ups. On the other-hand, although nothing drastic went wrong, I didn’t FEEL like it went really well either. I didn’t get that vibe. Maybe when I get these feelings it is tacit knowledge and there is a reason why. I learnt not to try to force conversation, normally I try to tell people about me, give them a sense of my personality, knowledge of my training but maybe that works against me. Less is more and not forcing myself on them.

What If?: I had gone horribly wrong? – I would probably get flustered but then pick myself up. I am prepared for going wrong? And if I do, is it really all that awful and a lost cause? If other women were much better would I shy away in defeatist attitude or would I rise to the challenge and up my game like when I was Mum 1 in ‘Hair’. Ideal scenario – arrived early, lines went smoothly, wasn’t cold and had my glasses and after had opportunity to meet director and talk without forcing it so he could see how I am personality-wise and how I’d be to work with.

Another View: Another audtitionee – I have no idea except that what seems like an obvious mistakes to me are either very minor or unnoticeable to them. Maybe I didn’t acknowledge them enough.

Themes: Valued the chance to even be there auditioning – this really is what I love and enjoy. The sense of feeling that I haven’t forgotten it all, I do have some drive/passion/talent. Shakespeare, especially comic Shakespeare I love! And acting too, not just singing and dancing. Acting is key. At the moment auditions are rare and so a highlight for me. Hopefully soon it will be standard with work as a standard too! Each time I audition I need to work on sight-reading, relaxation techniques and confidence in my ability. I need to integrate better in groups.

Bibliography

Gardner, H, 2005, Multiple lenses on the mind [online], Available from: http://www.howardgardner.com/docs/multiple_lenses_0505.pdf  [Accessed 11 December 2010].

Moon, J, 2006, Learning journals, 2^nd ed, London: Routledge